Sunday, September 18, 2016

2016 Updates

Gosh, it's already the second half of 2016. My last post was in September 2015. A lot happened between then and now. It's amazing how you can pull through from those moments when you thought you would fail and everything was ruined. It's amazing that God granted me all of those moments and showed His authority when I thought things couldn't get better. It's a miracle I am where I am now with the people surrounding me now doing what I'm doing. How great is He?!! All of these blessings and to know I am not worthy... 

After my last post, I remember things were going downhill with all the essays and final test. Haha... No shocker, right. But by God's grace, I managed and was done with trimester 2 in October. November to early December was pretty emotional since it was the summer course, thus the last one for me. 

Survived a frickin' intense summer course. Then enjoyed summer in NZ!! Whooo... Got a chance to see those roses in the botanical garden in Wellington and take another visit to Auckland. 

Rose garden in Wellington Botanic Garden
Auckland Sky Tower
I even got a chance to see glow worms in Waitomo Cave. If you ever watched The Little Mermaid and saw that scene when Ariel and Eric were in the boat in a lake about to kiss, it was pretty much like that. It was awesome!!!

Well, minus the watershow from the fish and the prince (of course!)
I had to bid farewell to my flatmates because they were closing down the uni hall, but then I got the new ones when they moved me to other flat (which I loooovveedd so so very much!). Clicked with my new flatmates right away. Had a revelation that I may have a soft spot for guys who can cook and share their food with me. Haha... 

My old room
The new one 
You know, thinking back... I didn't really click with the place (except for my flats. I wish I could live there still), but I do love the people in NZ. I miss them.

After summer course, I left WLG for JKT. And that's how December ended in NZ.

On my way home :( :)

I said it before, I'll say it again. I hate saying goodbye. Funny that I work in a place where hellos and goodbyes are far more often and constant. Now that I had graduated and started working again, I miss the time when time was plenty at my disposal. But then again, time is never more or less and it was never at my disposal.

Fast forward to September 2016.
At the moment time seems to slip away sooooo fast. Lots of regrets for the past few months. I'll write about them later if I don't forget. See... Age has its toll on me already. :( 

I've got things to do and since am not a multitasking person, I feel like I've abandoned my friends and family for the sake of work. Hate it! Just wish I can finish this one project asap. I gained weight and am sleep deprived working on the final paper. Good thing that next week this should all be done. Bad news is I did the project only and only to get this over with. I'm sorry, Lord Jesus. I took more than I could chew. :( Meanwhile, I should've been doing that paper right now instead of updating my blog. Duh!

Friday, September 18, 2015

Another Banal Quiz I Took Yet Again

After about 3-hours Skype session, several episodes of Big Bang Theory, an hour related to the library, and four hours of browsing, my empty, bored, not-so-curious mind decided to take another quiz that includes "Can We Guess..." in the title.

This one's called "Can We Guess Your Age and Gender from These 10 Questions?"

My result is as this picture below.

To answer the question poses by the title of this quiz, yes, they can guess. However, their guess is obviously very wrong.

Looking at the description, though, it does sound like me. I do think only a bit about my career and future, and I like spending a lot of time with my friends, getting out, and enjoying life. Who doesn't? 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Thing w/ Leadership Is It's Just Super Dynamic

My first substantive post!! Mwahahaha... This is actually my blog I posted to obtain 7 points out of 100. It's real hard work to write serious post. (-.-") Hope it makes sense.


Sinclair’s article, “What’s Wrong with Ideas about Leadership?” offers descriptions and perceptions on leadership overtime. It discusses the conventional characteristics of leadership and what generally people know about and think of it. Sinclair went ahead by saying that all the research and studies have framed leadership as this ideal being with various qualities that sometimes it is difficult to analyze leadership outside this narrow frame, that the existing research and studies limit understanding of what leadership can be, making it “bland and predictable”. Concept of leadership has been trapped in conventional way of thinking while actually there are still a lot more to it. For example, people consider leadership as a good thing while it can also be a bad thing (like everything in this world, except maybe puppies). Look at Hitler. He was definitely a successful leader but nothing good came from it.  Sinclair contrasts more conventional perceptions of leadership with alternatives wisdom (She actually said “conventional wisdoms” and “critical alternatives” but I feel like the alternatives brought more wisdom to the conventional perceptions). In the end of the article, Sinclair emphasizes that we should always challenge the leadership we know today by bringing more insights, different perspectives, and putting leadership in different contexts. She leaves us with a question of what leadership is for.

The military view that Sinclair described is familiar at my work place. Working in a government office in a developing country like Indonesia where its culture still pretty much dictates the values and how to do things, you could see that the leadership practiced there is almost similar with the leadership techniques in military. With “culture”, I refer to a culture that considers older people or higher ranked officials always right and their decisions cannot be questioned. Since I work with diplomats, of whom diplomatic ranks only add to the legitimacy of this culture, the culture limits leadership to whatever the seniors decide. Challenging the decision is possible but must be done suavely. I don’t really mind with the leadership styles applied as long as it gets us to achieve our goals as public servants. The problem is often we forget what our values and ultimate goals are and when the leaders forget it too, usually it only gets us to achieve the leaders’ personal goals. “Steeply hierarchical structures, with rigidly enforced, unquestioning obedience” really is reflected at work AND on paper (my performance evaluation report had seven qualities to assess; loyalty, work achievement, responsibility, obedience, honesty, cooperation, initiative).

Another following issue is with regeneration, there bound to be new leaders (hopefully with better value-based leadership) and with followers’ expectations, there tend to be some kind of adulation toward some new leaders among the staff. It seems to be harmless but along with time, it could harm the organization. The harm did actually happened before when the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was having a total restructure in early 2000s. At the time, the Ministry which only had two giant substantive divisions, namely directorate general for economic and trade issues and directorate general for political and security issues. Apparently, leaders from one directorate were better than from the other. Therefore creating a sense of unity, pride and loyalty in that directorate, boosting their performance. This then lead to “jealousy” from the other directorate, who did not do very well. Formally, the purpose of restructuring was to provide more customized service to Indonesia’s counterparts, but we know the real reason was to fix the exclusiveness and unhealthy competition in the organization. So, we can see that strong leadership that is constantly sought could harness adulation and even though it helps to achieve organization’s goals, it could harm the organization itself.

Well, as Sinclair says there are still much to be unraveled on leadership. “… there exists no universal set of prescriptions or step-by-step formulae that leaders can use in all situations to guide change.”

Friday, September 11, 2015


I admit since this trimester started I haven't been enthusiastic with my studies at all. I skipped classes. Yes, normal people skip classes. I submitted my assignments after the deadlines. Normal people do this too. And no matter how many times I promised myself to start studying, I will just go ahead and go out. This is also what normal people do. Just so we have the same understanding, my view is that normal people do not always do what's best for them or do what they should do. (And yes, someone did tell me that a person who starts most of his/her sentences with "I" usually is an egocentric person and I am).

For the last few weeks I feel like people were testing my patience. Just last week, I was chatting with some friends when suddenly one of them said that I was too laid back going places for the trimester break and skipping classes. He said how nice it was that I could do such things while he himself was struggling with assignments, especially with his wife and two toddlers coming. Well, I may be laughing then but man, seriously???

I mentioned earlier that normal people do not always do what they're supposed to do. If normal people do the right things all the time, they're not normal. They're perfect. And nobody's perfect. But please understand as well that being normal is not the same as being irresponsible (though some people can be irresponsible too). I know and understand perfectly that there are consequences every time I choose to do other things that are more fun and convenient than studying, working on my assignments, or doing the reading materials. I will take those consequences and deal with them. If I get C- for my essays or even fail my courses, then it's only fair and I'll accept that. I'm not looking for any justification for all my wrong-doings, I'm just saying that we're all grown-ups, we know what we're supposed to do and we have to be accountable for all our actions. 

So I do understand the consequences of my actions and I will gladly take them, but this person compared myself with him and acted like I had it easier because I did not seem to struggle with my studies. What pissed me off was that he can actually do what I did just the same. It's just that he chose not to and that's not my fault. I feel like he was judging me for the choices he made. Well, he can always skip class, sleep early and start doing the essays the day before it's due.

I believe that normal adults should be responsible for his/her own actions. Even if your friends or family or boss tell you to do certain things, by the end of the day it is you that will make the choice. Yes, other people can have strong influence over you but you are not forced to do things. The decision to take actions or not is in your hand. When you have made the call already, just man up and take the consequences. That's why you have to plan ahead and make alternative plans just in case. Consider the worst and ask yourself whether you can afford it or not. If you have many regrets, odds are you've been making many wrong decisions. 

Please do us all a favour and do not compare yourself with others since we all have different priorities and goals. Some want to save up some money, some just want to have a break or more time with their loved ones, some want the glory, and some just can't wait to get it over with. I'll respect your decisions and I expect the same from you. As long as you do your part in the team and mind your own business, we'll be just fine.